The Power of Speaking the Unspoken: How to Access Unlimited Energy by Identifying Your Fears
Lately, I have been fixated on the idea of Energy. Not just in the frou-frou sense, but in terms of the Energy we experience in our minds and in our bodies. How can we access our Energy when we feel drained? How can we produce more Energy when we need it? How can we sustain our Energy over the long term?
A couple weeks ago, my mom was in the hospital for 4 days. Spoiler alert: everything is fine. But at the time, it was a very scary situation.
When I found out that my mom was in the hospital, I traveled home to see her. And for the next couple days I was on a low-key emotional roller coaster. Internally, I was jumping from deep care and concern for my mom, to fear around the reality of how short life is, to being incredibly angry at her that her lack of self-care contributed to the situation she was in. But externally, I was quiet. I’m the type of person that could be crying, but if someone else starts crying while I’m crying, I immediately stop. A very someone’s-gotta-keep-this-shit-together vibe (insert Capricorn meme here).
It wasn’t until I returned to Minneapolis and tried to “just get back to work” that I found myself completely energetically wiped. I couldn’t focus, I felt like I couldn’t connect with people, I had a hard time producing work that felt authentic. This lasted for a little over a week.
At first, I was frustrated with myself. “What’s your deal??” I kept subconsciously berating myself for not being disciplined enough or not trying hard enough. After all, this was the first time since officially launching Kreativ Collective in September 2020 that I had experienced anything but the desire to work day in and day out.
The question, “Have I lost *it*?” was looming over me. And it scared me. It wasn’t until I had a call with a good friend of mine that things started to click. He had recently held an incubation with a few key trusted leaders in his circle, the purpose of which was to discuss his business and brand objectives for the long term. He shared with me the moment the meeting shifted — when he moved his chair and sat in the middle of the circle of men and asked each member to tell him exactly what he needs to do in order to become the leader that would be able to accomplish the vision he had. He asked them to speak every weakness they saw, every area of disconnection, every aspect of inauthenticity that needed to be cut off in order to step into the new era of growth. And they did.
When I asked him how that felt, his response surprised me. “ It was intense, but the energy that came to the group from everyone saying what they intuitively felt far surpassed any fear I had. There is power in speaking the unspoken.” Boom. That was IT.
All of a sudden, I unloaded everything I had been feeling from seeing my mom in the hospital. It was the first time I had spoken any of those internal emotions verbally. My friend chuckled, knowingly. “The quicker you can identify your emotional experience in any situation, the quicker you will be able to lead in any situation.”
Now, I am sure some of you have perfect relationships with your parents and are never triggered by anything they do. This post is not for you. For the other 99.999% of the population, keep reading.
So much of our relationships with our parents exist within the context of an unspoken set of norms that have been established throughout the relationship. And the fear of speaking the unspoken to our parents — addressing the pain of the past and working through toxic behaviors towards a better, healthier relationship — well, that fear is very real and it can be crippling. That is why it is easy to numb out or revert back to an immature/adolescent version of ourselves when we visit home. The what-if’s are too many, so we take the easy way out and go unconscious.
I truly believe that if we can heal the relationships we have with our parents, we can heal anything. But this takes time. Like, a lot of time. I am 36 and just realizing a new layer. Just because I am not throwing a hissy fit externally like I did in my teens does not mean that I am not still experiencing the same internal emotional triggers. They are just manifesting differently.
When we only focus on “fixing”external patterns, and stop our work at the point of addressing internal emotions, we bypass the “Why?” and this only produces short-term results.
Our feelings are powerful, yet we have been programmed to avoid or even fear them if they are not perceived to be “good” or “positive.” But when we avoid our emotions, we are embracing escapism. And escapism is the vehicle of the unconscious mind & life.
I always say that the entrepreneurial path is a hyper-loop through personal growth and development. As an entrepreneur, everything begins and ends with you, so you are forced to constantly take inventory of what is happening in and through you as a leader and a human. This requires an activated & intentional state of existence.
My continual *ah-ha* is the realization that the more I show up for myself, the more I am able to show up for others. Sounds simple enough, but it is so easy to forget what this actually looks and feels like in action. The sooner I can identify my energetic blocks (aka unaddressed emotions) the sooner I can resolve them, allowing my Energy to return to a state of flow.
So — how do we access our Energy when we feel drained? How can we produce more Energy when on E? How can we sustain our Energy over the long term? The answer? Presence. Allowance. Non-judgement.
The one who holds the most space for energetic flow in a room is the leader in that room. The sooner we step in and through the fear that would tell us it is better to just “leave it be,” the quicker we can identify and speak the unspoken. And this is what true leaders do.
